No Limits for Women in Beijing

"This action has the spirit with the power to help the world. It furthers one to cross the great water. Sacrifice for others fills the people with joy and gratitude that is extremely valuable for the flowering of the commonwealth." With these words from the I Ching we were on our way to China for the 4th World Conference on Women's NGO Forum.

"We" are Yolanda Provoste-Fuentes, Carol Severson, Vicki Hinton, Susan Keniston, Vanessa Lillie and Sheryl Karas, six women from Santa Cruz County, California. David Lillie, Vanessa's father, flew in from Boulder, Colorado to join us. We joined 300 people from around the world who attended as part of the No Limits for Women Project of the Re-evaluation Counseling Communities.

Re-evaluation Counseling, also known as RC or co-counseling, is a process whereby people of any background can learn to exchange effective help with one another to free themselves from the effects of past and present hurts, oppressions, and stresses. By teaching how to take turns listening to one another and how to use simple readily learned counseling skills we intended to help people become better able to handle challenges in their lives and stand up to social injustice. The No Limits Project presented more than 30 workshops on topics including women's health, internalized oppression, economics, women in leadership, mothering, disabilities, and ending racism. We also offered workshops for men about being allies against sexism. Additionally, we each made a commitment to use our skills wherever possible to help the Forum go well in general.

Honored Guests at Huairou

We stayed at Huairou, a small city surrounded by farms and tiny villages, smaller geographically than Santa Cruz but probably containing twice as many people in tall apartment buildings. Huairou has wide tree-lined streets with 12-foot wide bicycle lanes, high-rise downtown buildings decorated with colored lights, many excellent Chinese restaurants, department stores, outdoor markets, and just about anything else you would expect in a Chinese city. There were very few cars. The most common forms of transportation were bicycles, buses, taxis, and minivans, in that order. The city was in a beautiful setting surrounded on three sides by mountains and lakes, a short bus ride away from the Great Wall.

We were greeted by billboards and red banners welcoming us to the NGO Forum and proclaiming "Lasting Friendship to the World's People" and "Peace, Development and Equality." We also saw signs at Chinese workplaces that said "Be Worthy of the Honor of Hosting the Women's Conference."

Vicki felt like an honored guest. "We foreigners are often less than thoughtful regarding Chinese culture, thought and feelings. The Chinese have gotten a lot of bad press about what did not go well but very little has been written about what they did right. The ratio of volunteers to Forum attendees, for example, seemed to be about one to ten at our residences and breakfast site. The entire city was transformed for us. I wonder how many U.S. cities would have supported such an event with such all-out enthusiasm and hospitality."

Our accommodations were at the newly built cement slab Fule Apartments, about 2 kilometers from the conference site. We learned that these apartments, which were built specifically to house Forum attendees, were nicer than those lived in by the average Chinese worker. "Given that this was a third world nation, I thought the accommodations were nice." says Carol. "We had hot running water in a country where most people do not. They gave us each a fan when many people in their country don't even have electricity. Many of us from first world nations found the accommodations much less than we were used to but they were more than adequate, spacious and clean. I appreciated them."

Regular shuttle bus service was provided to the conference site but many of us found it more convenient to rent or buy bicycles to get around Chinese-fashion. David enjoyed riding to the Forum every day. "It was really wonderful to take part in an alternative energy society where the norm is a stream of people riding their bikes to and from work at a leisurely pace."

Susan also loved having a bicycle. "It freed me from being the monkey behind the glass on the bus. I could enter the stream of Chinese life, exchanging greetings and waving at the children riding on the backs of other bikes. At the end of the conference I was able to give my bicycle away to a family of musicians who couldn't afford to buy their own. It was the perfect connection for me, being a musician myself."

The conference facilities were creative and varied. The No Limits for Women activities were held on the fourth floor of a bank training facility/hotel in a room with air conditioning and wall-to-wall carpeting. There were also school buildings, small and large circus tents, smaller ethnic tents from Tibet and Mongolia, inflatable tents, a converted cinema, the concrete frame of an unfinished sports club building, hotel meeting rooms, and small outdoor booths and tables with parasols. There were many Chinese-style plastic squat port-a-potties (made in Minnesota!), enough available so there was never a wait. There was also an impressive communications center which received a lot of use with Apple and HP computers available for Email, word processing and Internet communications.

Security/Surveillance vs What's Really Important

A lot has already been written about the tight security and surveillance at the conference, about the daily demonstrations, and the occasional confrontations with Chinese authorities. Our experience, however, was that those incidents were a minor aspect of an event of much greater significance.

Sheryl tells about trying to see Hilary Clinton speak: "It rained the day Hilary came so the event was moved indoors to a space that was way too small for all the women who showed up. Imagine 4000 intent women with umbrellas on a wide staircase all trying to squeeze into a single door while security guards attempted to hold them back long enough to do security checks. It was quite a scene.

"The Chinese Organizing Committee finally announced that the room was full but they didn't use a loudspeaker. By the time the message to turn back traveled from mouth to mouth several terrible rumors were being circulated. Almost everyone turned to leave peacefully, but one American woman latched on to the most inflammatory rumor and used it to try to incite a riot. She was calling people to storm the building, so a large group of Chinese men linked arms to prevent that from happening. They also locked the gates around the building to prevent more people from trying to get in but that also kept people who were leaving from getting out. Things got very scary but there wasn't any real danger, just a lot of confusion.

"I saw one woman in particular who was standing by herself looking grim. When I went over to support her she put her head on my shoulder and burst into tears. After a few minutes she looked up, dried her eyes and said, 'None of this really matters. Why is Hilary Clinton so important anyway? What's important is that all of us women are here and caring about each other and learning from each other. That's what this is all about, don't you think?'"

Susan sums up the prevailing atmosphere of the Forum: "The whole point of the conference was that there were 25,000 women from all over the world there working together to make their lives and the lives of all women better. That's why we were there. This was the largest gathering of women in the history of the world! I was impressed by what a beautiful global village it was, too - colorful clothing from different nationalities and cultures, many different languages being spoken, women sharing what their lives are like and what they care about, what's good and what's difficult, what needs to change."

Our Highlights: Snapshots of a Time and Place

"The overwhelming image I came away with was strong, powerful, caring, thinking women working to liberate their less fortunate sisters in all kinds of ways" says Carol who attended a wide assortment of workshops and panel discussions at the Forum. "At one workshop a Tanzanian woman shared information on how her organization helps teenage mothers. They provide counseling, get the women books, provide childcare. They do whatever needs to be done to keep these young people in school so they have a chance in the world.

"At another workshop a woman from the Phillipines got a dialogue started on how to get more women involved in politics, and shared strategies for combatting the good ol' boy networks.

"I also saw a panel of Chinese women who were either the chair or vice-chair of trade unions in their provinces. In China it is customary for women to receive two days of paid time off a month for menstrual periods and three months of maternity leave. The panel protested foreign companies who do not follow these laws and require women to work an hour per day longer than is customary as well. The women also blamed their own government for refusing to enforce the law. They insisted that they would not put up with such poor treatment. It was inspiring to watch."

Yolanda also found the Forum inspiring. "I'm so happy that we went. This was one of the happiest experiences of my life. Especially, that we were able to get in touch with so many women and hear their testimonies. I was particularly impressed by a woman from Costa Rica. There was no program for women and domestic violence in her country and she got tired of not being listened to and waiting so she opened a battered women's shelter in her own house. Her own house!

"I got to hear about other powerful women, too. Groups of women from Equador and Peru stopped a war at their border. The women mobilized so fast and put pressure on their government so that in just five days there was no more war. I learned that at the Latin American Tent. I was worried when I heard about the war before but I didn't put too much attention on it because there wasn't much in the paper. But then I heard about this at the conference and I thought, dynamite! That's so powerful! I'm so glad I heard about what women can do when they get organized.

"My biggest highlight was at a workshop on domestic violence in Latin America. The presenter didn't show up so another woman offered to make the workshop happen by asking people to share their experiences about how they implemented domestic violence progams in their countries and to share information we could bring back to our own countries. I contributed to the workshop by suggesting that no one speak twice until everyone spoke once and everyone applauded. Everyone got equal time to talk. That was my highlight. I thought every woman who went to this conference was an intelligent powerful woman who didn't need to wait for someone else to present for them. We could do it ourselves. I thought: everyone here should have an audience. We have so much to share. I was very scared to speak up but I did it anyway!"

Vicki went to a workshop on men's roles in society that went so well it inspired her to offer lunch groups for men at work when she got back. "The main thrust of the workshop was about how violence or the threat of violence reinforces social roles for both men and women. I had an opportunity to hear from people in parts of the world where men and women's roles differ from the United States. In Norway, for example, little boys are brought up with much more affection and are discouraged from being competitive except in sports. Women there are expected to be strong and even play a dominant role in the society."

Vicki also went to a workshop offered by a panel of successful women of color on how other women could achieve success. "One point that stood out for me was that women needn't be afraid of the political system. The key is to figure out how to create alliances. It is only by being divided and individualistic that we hurt ourselves. That was an inspiring thought for me."

Vanessa attended a speak-out session where women used the metal wire chairs provided as soap boxes to stand on as they testified. "Some women from Somalia spoke out about their country being at war for the last five years. Their children haven't received any education during this time and are only learning about guns and war. All the country's resources are being used for war instead of for basic human needs. They complained that the men just won't stop fighting. Susan and I went to talk to them afterwards about the RC workshop on men's roles in society, offering them support on how to work with their men. They were very happy."

The Power of One-to-One Connections

For all of us, making one-to-one connections with people was the most important item on our agendas and provided us with the most lasting memories. The opportunity to make those special contacts came about in a wide variety of ways.

Vanessa is a massage therapist and frequented the Healing Tent where various self-help healing practices were taught. "It was a special treat for me to give two women from Papua New Guinea their first-ever massage. Afterwards one of the women said in a very dreamy voice 'That was fantastic.' We all loved the experience." Vanessa made a plan to meet with them the next day.

Susan brought a guitar and used music to reach out to others. "One day I wound up having a song swap with some Chinese middle school students sitting on a stoop in front of a shop. We kept passing the guitar back and forth and eventually a nice crowd gathered around us. Everyone was smiling and enjoying the cultural exchange. It was wonderful."

Sheryl used a long wait for a workshop that was eventually canceled to make friends with an off-duty Chinese volunteer. "This woman was starry-eyed, obviously thrilled to be there. She talked for a long time about what a broad new world this was opening up for her and about how confident and hopeful it was making her feel. At one point she said that she had never met a Jewish person before and had all kinds of questions to ask me about that. She was particularly curious about how it was possible that some Jews do not believe in Judiasm. I was having a very difficult time explaining this when she suddenly blurted out 'I know! It's because you live in America and people come from all over the world to live in America and you can believe anything you want to believe there! Is that right?' I said that was true and she responded 'And it's going to be that way in China, too!'"

Carol found out that making friends can happen in the most unexpected situations. "I had a delightful experience in an outdoor marketplace when I returned my rental bike. There was a group of men there shooting pool but when we rode up to return our bikes a woman took a pool cue and invited one of us to play. I've had a little experience doing that so I took her on. We gathered quite a crowd. It was so much fun and not at all what I expected to do in China!"

What Now?

At the U.N. Conference a Platform of Action was agreed upon that pushes women's rights forward in a significant way. However, that nonbinding document is only a symbolic statement. The real value of the conference will only be seen if women and men work determinedly to take advantage of the boost provided by it. In that respect, those of us from the Santa Cruz contingent of the No Limits for Women Project believe that the real accomplishment of the conference lies in the truely global connections that were made. A lot of networking happened, there were lots of areas were people found out they were not alone, and lots of information was shared.

David was struck by the sense of empowerment he saw come out of the conference. "There was a tremendous amount of cooperation and friendships established among previously scattered sources of resource. It has to make a difference when people discover that other people are actually doing things they could only dream of before. For example, I learned that in Norway 40% of its legislature seats are held by women. And in Norway and Sweden they provide six months of maternal and paternal paid leave for childcare. I want that here! Hearing what's possible, what other people have figured out, it's clear we don't have to settle for less!"

"For me, the most important lesson of the conference was the importance of everyone's voice being heard." says Sheryl. "Every culture has its own particular blinders that keep us from seeing the whole picture. At the conference there were many instances where people from one part of the world had figured out some very important piece of how to solve a problem but were stuck in other places, and others from other parts of the world had other pieces that that first group could not find. The power of that kind of sharing cannot be measured."

"The women I met were absolutely amazing," says Carol. "We have the workings of a real worldwide women's liberation organization taking place now. Women were handing out their cards and Email addresses left and right."

Things will never be the same again.